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The current period represents a ten-year milestone since the word “ghosting” entered the public consciousness. Initially, the concept that someone could instantly end communication with a romantic interest without explanation seemed like the height of disrespect. Our innocence was charming. In the 10 years since, finding a mate has only become more confounding – an frequently pointless endeavor in humiliation that is increasingly pigeonholed by social media jargon.

Gen Z, a cohort who came of age during a loneliness crisis, a masculinity reckoning, and a coordinated challenge on the rights of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their Gen Y predecessors could ever envision. And so their dating lexicon has grown more extensive and more deranged, with terms like “Ogre-ing” and “vine swinging” testing the limits of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a comprehensive guide to the terms this generation is using to talk about love, sex and the quest of both. To channel one of the year’s most viral memes, by the conclusion of this guide you’ll yearn to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it is free from “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Genuineness – For Zoomers, romance's gold standard is presenting as your real, unfiltered self. Best wishes with that!

B

Feathered friend test – A online phenomenon loosely based on a methodology developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something insignificant – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and pay attention to whether your date's response is engaged or dismissive. If they do not want to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Independent partner – Zoomers' rebuttal to the “manic pixie dream girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having short fringe, liking indie music and avoiding commitment, the mysterious partner focuses on her own needs while radiating enigma and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have that fringe.)

C

Seat theory – This signifies going for someone who aids you without being asked. If you walked into a room, they would fetch a chair for you to sit down.

Choremance – A date where two people form a link while handling tasks, such as pet care or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained people in their 20s do low-cost dating in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or breakup, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a symbol of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it describes pairs who opt out of parenthood to focus on their own well-being. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

E

Open communication – The antithesis of being guarded: utilizing dialogue, transparency and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Indicators

• Danger signals – Behavioral habits indicating a prospective partner is bad news. For instance calling their former partners unstable, bad tipping habits, a love of controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Positive signs – These traits validate your decision to pursue a partner. For instance checking in to make sure you got home safe after a date, low phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These typically describe specific, mostly inoffensive idiosyncrasies. Examples include being an keen ornithologist, still carrying around a pen in their purse, paying the rent in physical money …

Freak matching – When you meet someone who’s just as obsessive about documentaries about the second world war or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, finding someone who despises the same things or individuals that you do (few things fosters intimacy faster than having a common enemy).

G

Geese – A band many young men is into.

Zombie-ing – Someone who pops back into your life after a period of silence.

Golden retriever boyfriend – Someone who is affable, eager to please and loyal. The uncommon partner who is adored by all of his partner’s friends, and a mysterious partner's foil.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online subculture of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt extended sessions, purposefully delaying climax so they can go on as long as possible.

The Letter H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A mindset describing many women's increasing cynicism toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as little surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Traditional ideal woman – An archetype championed by online male influencer figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and contentedly domestic, who apparently has no ambitions of her own aside from satisfying her man partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “heterofatalism” thing better?

The Letter I

Icks – Arbitrary and frequently trivial dealbreakers that immediately kill any sense of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to remember after you watch someone else receive an incredibly sweet act.

J

Jobs – These have not been this important in the romance landscape since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ultimate partner: a preppy, conservative-leaning guy who will provide (there’s a popular TikTok audio on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in fields they perceive as being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: nurses, teachers or therapists.

K

Locking lips – This year, scientists learned that the kiss has been around for 16m years. But the era of kissing may be numbered since some Zoomers desire fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find cinematic romance realistic.

Kittenfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using outdated (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your career sound more impressive than it is. Also known as {